“Couple”? Couple means two partners in a
romantic or sexual relationship. How do these
couples stay in love, in good times and in bad
times? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck
or chance. As a result of hard work and
commitment, they figure out the importance of
the following relationship “musts” so as to live a
happy life together. Because few couples know
about all of the musts, I think of them as the
relationship “secrets” they share. Some of the
reasons prior to my investigation why some
couples live a happy life are explained below.
HERE ARE SOME SECRETS OF COUPLES THAT
HAS KEPT THIER RELATIONSHIP STANDING AND
STRONG
1. They Develop a realistic view of committed
relationships.
Recognize that the crazy infatuation you
experienced when your romance was new won’t
last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that
should still include romance, will replace it. A
long-term relationship has ups and downs, and
expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the
time is unrealistic.
2. They Work on the relationship.
An untended garden develops weeds that can
ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it
is with relationships. It is important to address
problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some
people believe good relationships just happen
naturally. The truth is that a good relationship,
like anything you want to succeed in life, must
be worked on and tended to on a regular basis.
Neglect the relationship, and it will often go
downhill.
3. They Spend time together.
There is no substitute for shared quality time.
When you make a point of being together,
without kids, pets and other interruptions, you
will form a bond that will get you through life’s
rough spots. Time spent together should be
doing a shared activity, not just watching
television.
4. They Make room for “separateness.”
Perhaps going against conventional wisdom,
spending time apart is also an important
component of a happy relationship. It is healthy
to have some separate interests and activities and
to come back to the relationship refreshed and
ready to share your experiences. Missing your
partner helps remind you how important he or
she is to you.
5. They Make the most of your differences.
Stop and think: What most attracted you to your
partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee
that it was exactly the thing that drives you
most insane today. Take a fresh look at these
differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects
and find an appreciation for those exact things
that make the two of you different from one
another. It’s likely that your differences balance
one another out and make you a great team.
6. They Don’t expect the partner to change; but
at the same time they give themselves more of
what they want.
If both you and your partner stop trying to
change each other, you will eliminate the source
of most of your arguments. At the same time,
each of you should focus on giving one another
more of what you know the other person wants,
even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance,
instead of complaining how your partner never
cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it
yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your
partner will likely notice your effort and make
more of an effort themselves around the house.
If you do both of these things at once you’ve
got a winning plan!
7. They Accept that some problems can’t be
solved.
There may be issues upon which you cannot
agree. Rather than expending wasted energy,
agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or
to work around the issue. Two people cannot
spend years together without having legitimate
areas of disagreement. The test of a happy
relationship is how they choose to work through
such issues — through compromise, change, or
finding it’s just not that important to stew over.
8. They Communicate!
This is one key factor, lack of communication is
the number one reason even good relationships
fail. And here is a useful format for doing so,
especially when dealing with incendiary topics:
Listen to your partner’s position, without
interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or
she is finished, summarize what you heard him or
her say. If you can, empathize with your
significant other even though you don’t agree.
This will take your partner off of the defensive,
and make it easier for them to hear your
thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when
you use this format, and best of all, you may
come up with an understanding or a solution.
9. They are Honest
You may share with your partner the things he
or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to
have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is
one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And
once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very
long time to re-establish it in the
relationship.The happiest couples are the ones
where honesty is as natural and every day as
breathing.
10. They Respect themselves, and don’t take him
or her for granted.
Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to
get you the same in return. And regularly
reminding them how much they mean to you will
enrich your relationship in indescribable ways.
When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment
to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express
your feelings of appreciation with your partner —
he or she will be thankful that you did.
Making these secrets an integral part of your
relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts
may initially seem like planted seeds that never
come up. If you maintain your efforts, however,
you will likely reap what you sow.
NOTE: These ten (10) secrets can also be applied
for normal growing up relationships if you really
want to build a strong and standing relationship!
Thanks.
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