GIVING, A GOOD SOURCE OF BREAKTHROUGH IN LIFE

Our lives are made better each day by the amount of smile we put on people’s faces, sometimes I give to people not because I have much, but because I know how it feels having nothing. “Give others all that is alive in us/our interest, understanding, our knowledge, our humor, everything in us that’s good. In doing so, we enhance the sense of aliveness in others while enhancing our own. When we give, we get a “heightened vitality” of what it means to be human.”

True giving comes from the same place inside you as your deepest happiness. They are inexplicably intertwined. A gift is something that is enjoyed twice. First by the giver who revels in the pleasure of giving something special and then also enjoyed by the person who receives the gift.

With our changing economic times, everyone is asking for help in some form. There are as many reasons to give as there are ways to give. Some people give for recognition. They want their names in programs, on park benches and in hospital lobbies. Others give expecting to be paid back or thanked, they give to get. Some people want a hands-on-experience and are generous with their time. Some like to give anonymously and don’t want any recognition at all.

People who truly master the art of giving give out of the goodness of their hearts with no self-serving motives. Giving becomes a blessing for the giver and receiver. It’s human nature to believe, “When I have more I’ll give more.” If you come from this mentality you never have enough of anything to give. Generosity is a choice that feels right and joyful. Generosity comes from believing you have enough to share.

You may be a bit skeptical, wondering what exactly do you have to give? Everybody has something of value for another person. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time. You have something to give everyone.

The act of true giving is something wonderful and amazing. With most things in this world, there is only a limited amount of what you can give away. Fortunately, generosity and kindness are not bound to these same material limitations. One of life’s most basic laws is “every single act of love, kindness and generosity will multiply and return to you many times over “. The more you give the happier you will feel.

Many thousands of years ago a great sage in Babylon said “The reward of charity depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it.” It is one of life’s wonderful paradoxes that you limit the power of your giving by having an expectation of getting something in return. When you give without any thought or desire for something back, your returns will be truly limitless.

Your life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. Where would you rather drink? The acts of giving and receiving are a continuous process of circulation that continues the flow of your life’s energies. For one person to receive someone else has to give. It’s a cycle of energy that flows continually onwards.

Pause for as moment as you read this, and take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice how uncomfortable you begin to feel when you are holding on to something that is meant to be released. Now, breath out, completely and hold your breath with your lungs fully emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel when you are resisting taking in something that you need.

True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing. How often do you expect back from the person you gave something to a gift of a similar or greater value? Is this true giving or merely an unvoiced expectation of an exchange of similar goods? Have you ever heard anyone saying ” I just give and give and give until I have nothing left “? This behavior has many other names. Self denial, self pity, martyrdom, self righteousness to name just a few.

This is an ego based form of giving. It is giving with an expectation of something in return. In reality, this is not giving at all but an un-vocalized form of barter. If, through the act of giving, you feel that you have “lost something or are somehow lessened” then the gift was not truly given from your heart. Truly giving something from the heart is an action which will fill your life with joy. This is where the expression to “give whole heartedly” comes from.

The intention behind your giving is the most important thing. The intention should always be to create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. If you experience resentment and a feeling of “I don’t really want to give this to this person, but I feel that I have to” or “I really should give them something,” this is probably what ultimately will come back to you. Perhaps in this case, you need to consider not giving the gift at all!

What you give out is what comes back in direct proportions to the feelings you have in the act of giving. It’s very simple. If you want to experience more joy, give joy to others, if you want more love, learn to give love, if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give appreciation to others. These are some of life’s most precious gifts and they don’t cost you anything. When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind of silent giving is very powerful. Do this, (with no thought of return) and you will suddenly find people around you opening to you in joy and happiness.

Here are some gifts we all have that can benefit others:

Give of Your Talents
Give someone an hour of coaching, offer child care or do you have plumbing, painting, or landscaping skills? Give things. Clean your home and clear out your closet of unwanted things. Give what you don’t use or need to charity. Your junk is someone else’s treasure.

Give Blood
Save a life. I’ve done this on several occasions; it’s a great feeling to know you are helping to save someone’s life.

Give of Yourself
Make someone feel loved, special and appreciated with a visit, phone call, email, text or card. Give a handmade gift. Give praise, gratitude and appreciation. This creates heart-to-heart connections.

Give a recommendation
Enrich someone’s life by sharing the discovery of a great blog, book, restaurant, product or service. The message you give is “This was a great find for me and I want to share it with you.”

Give the gift of laughter
Laughter brings health and happiness to others. It offers physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits. Laugh loud and laugh often with everyone.

Give an Invitation
Being invited to any kind of event means people want to be with you. When you invite someone into your life you are saying, “I want to spend time with you, you are important to me.

Give Affection
Appropriately offer a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back, a touch on an arm or a tender look. We never lose the need for affection and acceptance. Touching heals emotional wounds.

Give Good Advice
Ask the question, “Do you want advice or to you want me to listen.” If needed and wanted advice can be life-saving. Shared insights and wisdom is a precious gift.

Give Encouragement
When people are filled with doubt and fear they lack courage. When you inspire and motivate someone to act on their dreams, it can be life changing. You are making the world a better place.

Give without Keeping Score
Real giving is expecting nothing in return. Give when you have the opportunity not because you received something and want to return the favor. Never hesitate to give because you gave last.

Give Forgiveness
Forgiveness offers healing to family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. Forgive yourself and others in spite of memories of unlovable times. Drop the story of what they did and what you did and the meaning you have given it.

Give Money
Giving stuff is easy. We usually don’t need or want it… But almost everyone likes to hang on to their money. Giving away money is more difficult because it means less for you. Give money because others need it. Give money because we’re dependent on one another.

Give an Act of Kindness
Kindness is the easiest and most abundant gift we have to give away. Buy Girl Scout cookies, always open the door for the person behind you, return your grocery cart, make cookies for your neighbor. The list is endless. Kindness brings joy to the giver, receiver and anyone witnessing the act!

Give Love
It’s easy to love those who love us back. Challenge yourself to give love to those who deserve it the least. Make your love unconditional. Make the world a more loving place. Everyone will reap the benefits!

The act of giving precludes reciprocity of any kind. It’s a manifestation of the love we feel within, just bursting for a way out. True giving flows freely from the heart, with the full force of love and compassion and honest selflessness propelling it forward. Anything less is simply a disguised request for a bartered transaction.

Typography: RichardSolomon