“No more pankere from Baba mi, no more lashes.”
I’m going to fight back if he tries to…
I’m going to protect Jinadu.
I just became a woman!
I got out of bed and didn’t know what to do. I was overwhelmed. I decided to go to the bathroom and wash myself up. My trip to the bathroom was fast! Jinadu could not see me in this state, he would freak out. I washed and washed and washed. I was scared. I needed maami. How was I supposed to stop the bleeding? How long was I going to bleed for?
I was lost in my train of thoughts when a loud bang on the bathroom door sent me flying. It was Jinadu; he wanted to have his bath. I must have spent so long in the bathroom. He was still asleep when I made for the bathroom.Sister Kofo, open the door, I want to bath.
I grabbed the towel and wrapped myself up. I opened the door. “Jina Jina”, how are you? He didn’t answer me. I smiled, he never wanted me calling him “Jina Jina” Seeing my innocent little brother reminded me of the promises I made to myself earlier on. I had to embrace the new me. I had to come to terms with the person I had become. I am a woman.
Do not ever underestimate the power of self-assurance. With renewed zeal and energy, I embraced the power of decision making. I did what I could never have done when I was a girl. I stepped out of the two-bedroom flat without permission from baba mi. I had told Jinadu I wanted to go out to get something. The fear and terror on his face had motivated me more. Baba mi was not God, he was a mortal…I am a mortal.
My trip outside the two-bedroom flat was a very fast one. My steps were long and calculated, with my head constantly scouting and making mental judgments about everyone that passed me by. I had to be extremely cautious. I had heard scary stories of how dangerous the streets of Mushin could be, stories of little girls being abused, stories of mothers who bite their own children and send them hawking. I had even heard stories of men abusing boys.
What a life!!
I was already in front of the super-market when I realized I had no money on me. What was I going to tell the ibo shop -attendant? He had the scariest face I had ever seen. My mental judgment told me to run, but my instincts said otherwise. Again, I embraced my decision-making power. I was going to tell the ibo shop-attendant that I just became a woman. I took a leap of faith into the lavishly stocked super-market. A woman had just finished paying her bills. She turned to leave. I was about to start my narration when the woman pulled me to her side and shouted at the shop attendant to toss her a pack of sanitary pad.
Whatever that meant…
She pulled my pants, cleaned me up, and gave me a very comprehensive instruction about how to use the sanitary pad. She answered all the questions I had been seeking answers to. She was a good woman. She had even given me her address and told me to visit her whenever I had more questions.
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Baba mi was panting and pacing when I entered the two-bedroom flat. Jinadu was lying on the floor naked. I could see fresh sets of pankere bruises on his soft and tender skin. I felt pity for my brother. Where are you coming from? He shouted. I went to….I went to…the words struggled for freedom. I was terrified. I was mortified.
Kofooooo!! Where are you coming from? His voice was calm and soothing now. What was this man up to?? I questioned myself. Baba mi, I went to get san…the “pankere” crash landed with heavy force on my cheeks, sending a sharp and agonizing pain through my body. I struggled to finish my lines with the courage of an angry woman. “Baba mi, I went to get sanitary pads, I just became a woman. And this is the last time you are going to raise your hands on me or Jinadu”. My eyes were pregnant with tears. He was stunned, he laughed. A sarcastic laughter. He made for the pankere and was about to let it down on me with all the power he could muster. I dodged it, and he crashed on the three sitter cushion set. He was enraged and was up again, he was coming for me and was going to totally reduce me to a pitiful little young girl, I couldn’t allow him that pleasure. I’m no longer his little girl. I’m a woman now.
I made a quick run for the kitchen door which was luckily a few inches from where I was crouched up. He was very close to grabbing my flower patterned skirt when I slammed the kitchen door on him and turned the lock as fast as I could lay my hands on them. I could see defeat boldly written all over his face as the door slammed against him. He banged and shouted. “Kofo, so you now raise your voice at your own father? ehn, open the door and come out of that kitchen or…”
His voice was loud and scary.
I felt proud of myself. I stood up for myself. That is what a woman does. I was not going to open the door, I was going to stay in the kitchen for as long as it takes, at least until I was sure baba mi had gone to bed or calmed down a little. The red moist was back again, I could feel the warm trickle of blood against my skin. The sanitary pad was supposed to keep the blood flow locked. What was happening? Then I remembered what Mrs Seila had told me about having heavy flow. I was having a heavy flow. I pulled my skirt. I could see a large pattern of blood on the flower designs of the skirt. It gave it a somewhat appealing look. I was going to soak the skirt in soap and water before I washed it. My white pant and the sanitary pad was a dull red now. There was a funny smell too. I didn’t like it. The sanitary pad Mrs Seila bought for me was in the sitting room. How was I going to get it? Baba mi, must have seen it. The thought of him holding the sanitary pad turned my stomach. I wasn’t going to tell him, but now he knows. I should ask Jinadu to bring it for me. Jinadu!!!
I had completely forgotten Jinadu, my poor little brother. The picture of his naked body on the floor when I entered the flat played in my head. My poor little brother…my “Jina Jina.” My eyes were getting moist. I was going to cry. Bang Bang Bang!! I jumped up clutching my skirt and tying it loosely around my waist. Baba mi was back. “Kofoworola, open this door before I break it down”. “Kofoworola, I will beat you to a pulp if I have to break down the door”. “Kofoworola, you are playing with fire, open this door!!” “Kofoworola, hahahaha…you want to die!”
Kofo this, kofo that. Baba mi wasn’t going to break down the door, and I was not going to open it…not until it’s safe for me. He was quiet again. My thoughts returned to Jinadu. Paarh Paarh Paarh!! That was the pankere! The sound was followed by an agonizing scream from Jinadu. He was crying. Baba mi was lashing him again. “Kofo, I know you can hear your brother cry.” You had better open that door or I would keep lashing your sweet little brother!
The man is a devil! Baba mi is a monster! He was lashing Jinadu; I could hear the agonizing sound of pain and suffering. I didn’t know what to do; opening the door was not an option. Baba mi would finish me, he would write an epistle on my body with the cane. I could hear Jinadu, crying. He was calling my name now, Sister kofo, sister kofo…his sweet little voice was overpowered by baba mi’s voice. “Kofo, open the door!” I cried and screamed at him to leave Jinadu. I told him I was going to open the door. I wasn’t going to open the door. I was a bad woman. I had failed to protect Jinadu. I cried, more red gushed out of me…
Story continues….
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